Shop Women

I am in love with all the women who work in my local Co-Op food shop, even the elderly one who brings out the bread rolls at 6:15 AM every morning, often with me waiting at the bakery section of the shop for her. The rolls will be warm and I will buy six of them along with mayo, Brunswick ham etc. She will say “No pumpkin seed ones today, sorry.” or she will say “Bloody weather.” She must be four foot ten tops. The shop women all like me as well as when they are fagging it round the back (where the bread gets delivered at 5:45 AM) we smile and nod briefly to each other as their smoke wafts appealingly around their womanly forms. They hold their fag packets in front of their crotch.

Yesterday I went in the shop in late afternoon. I went straight to the freezer section without basket and loaded my arms up with fifteen assorted frozen pizzas. Then I went and passed by the cheese section which had been moved to the end of one of the aisles about a month ago. I added some Swiss cheese to my stack then I headed down the far aisle (where the bathroom and cleaning stuff is located). Ahead of me at the far end was one of the sexier shop women bending over adjusting prices or something at the chilled beer section. She always has a nice ass in tight black pants by the way. I scanned the shelves to my left but was pretty sure I didn’t need anything, my attention was elsewhere. I approached the woman and she looks briefly at me and keeps her ass sticking up and out. She is the one who is quite good looking but has a weird sort of double chin, but has a maturity about her which is sensual and sexy. She must be about forty-one so she is either past her best or in her prime. Even though she would not have had the double chin twenty years ago, I choose to think of her as being in her prime.

As I came close my senses were alerted to her smell. It is a scent from heaven; part animal but mostly perfume. It fills my head, body and heart with sexual energy and I am afraid my head tipped back slightly and a smelling noise may even have been audible from my nostrils. I did not even remotely get an erection but for a moment or two as I pass by inches from her ass I know what it is to love her. And I think she knows too. I am invigorated. All down my insides was filled with energy of a dramatically pleasing sort. It was not the sad, infinite loneliness emotions I get from the two beautiful larger women who work here or the effortless sort of elation I get from the skinny goofy one (all of whom I love deeply, especially the one with tattoos and purple hair; it’s the way she grabs chap sticks out of their holder behind the tills that does it) it had none of the sadness and much more of the intense sensual attraction stuff going on.

Unfortunately I smelled badly of BO like I had not wiped properly and her head was lower down towards my arse area as she was bent adjusting prices as mentioned. We were alone in the dim far reaches of the shop. I shifted the pizzas in my grip as I approached and passed. She definitely saw the stack of pizzas crushed against my flab but her face was a blur. It had been hot yesterday and I was wearing a thin T Shirt with my sweaty man boobs well defined in sweaty pockets of T shirt, one sticking out the side of the pizza boxes. My trackie bottoms had a quite visible four pronged line on the thigh where it is clear I wiped my spaghetti fork on them last week. As I am a fat pig and buy cheese from here daily, which they all know, and as I had full intention of further stuffing my face when I got home, I made what was an involuntary snorting sound as I passed by the sexy shop woman in her tight black work pants. I continued to breath loudly afterwards, like some sort of horrible slob. Had I been breathing like that all the way down the aisle? Almost certainly. And the shop music has not been switched on yet. Plus my eyes might have seemed demented as I have lived alone for eleven years with no friends and no girlfriend, mainly playing Xbox. Good stuff. I engage socially three times a year tops and this encounter counts as one of them. Never the less her ass was still sticking out like some ritual from when we lived in trees. Despite my smell, physical appearance and pig noise I still think she likes me. Well why not?

As I turned the corner towards the check outs I did not look back but saw that the smaller of the larger women was at the till (I already knew this as when I go in the shop entrance I instinctively look over to see who is one till – there is a man there who I like of course but we have some bad energy and I worry we might come to blows one day, we don’t even acknowledge each other anymore because it is bad when we do so.) I paid up, only briefly making eye contact through her what must be stylish glasses and headed home shuffling along down behind the pub stroking the usual cat on wall thinking of the bent over shop woman with her weird sort of double chin. I can’t wait to smell her tomorrow.

When I got home I cranked up the oven to two hundred degrees and started reading the instructions for heating (all of) the pizzas that I had brought. It took me four hours to eat all (fifteen) of the pizzas and I added the extra Swiss cheese to half of them. After this I went for a lie down as I was feeling full and I blanked out for a moment and just then I thought of Claude the cat from behind the pub and all the shop women and I realised in a surge of emotion and at the same instant the sun came out for the first time all day form behind a cloud as fluffy as Claude cat, and as purple as purple hair woman’s hair, that God is truly great. Coincidence? I think not. I got up and started singing and dancing round my flat for a while. Then I decided I would put my radiators on as I have not done so for about three weeks and I like it when it’s warm. So I went out to the communal shed where my gas meter is and checked how much I had left on it. I had enough to see me until tomorrow which is today (when I will have to go and top up my card at the shop later – heh heh.) But then all the dancing and pizzas ganged up on me and I turned and vomited up all the pizzas in five or six waves of vomit all over the porch area that I share with my neighbours. Well fuck them – their cats always shit in the small pathetic garden area next to the porch and I have to smell fresh cat shit most times I go in and out of my flat, I am bloody sick of smelling cat shit.

THE END

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