The Board Meeting

Six lower down managerial type Microsoft workers – five men and one woman, enter the dim boardroom and all of them see the CEO sat with his face in darkness, fingers steepled in front of him with elbows on the polished oval wooden desk.

“Sit,” the CEO says with a motion of his hand, and they do so, the dim lighting coming from a green table lamp off to one side of the room. The walls are bare, no clock ticks. After a moment of tension, the CEO says in hushed but serious tones

“Just what are we going to do. The PS4 has more pre-orders on Amazon, at Gamestop, Game UK, you name it. Bill is not happy … I’M not happy!” his voice raising slightly.

The six heads facing him are bowed and humbled. But one man looks up and speaks

“People will buy it for Forza.”

But as the words are uttered the CEO jerks to a standing position slamming his hands down onto the desk making the woman in the room gasp. And the CEO bellows in anger and frustration

“NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT FORZA AGAIN. IT‘S LIKE RIIIDDDGE FUCKING RACER TO THE SPOILT LITTLE SHITS.” He sits back down and steeples his fingers in front of his red face and continues in a quieter speaking voice “And what about this petition to bring back DRM?”

Moments of silence before another of the facing men puts forward

“That’s just Sony fanboys and girls sir. It’s just the Ponies signing it, them and trolls and terrorists.”

Leaning back in his chair the CEO stares up at the ceiling before replying

“Yes. Balls to those little twelve to eighteen year old entitled brats. Don’t they realise that if Kinect catches just one terrorist it will all have been worth it!? And now we might have to release a cheaper bundle WITHOUT FUCKING KINECT,” he is standing again and the other heads are bowed and tired and the room is dim and no clock ticks.

Later that same evening, one of the men who had remained silent in the board meeting sits down at his PC and logs into, smiling and buoyant. The first topics he sees on the Xbox page are about crappy Kinect exclusives and Gears of War becoming a PS4 exclusive. He signs several petitions over the next few hours under the username TheyPayMeInPork and comments on all things next gen until at around 3am in the morning someone posts the topic “Have you ever fallen in love with a female Xbox friends avatar? I have.”

“Welp, time to log off,” he says and climbs into bed with his back tense and bent and in pain.



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